On The Birds

I found out today that Leslie Dixon (Hairspray, Thomas Crown Affair, Overboard) is writing the screenplay for a remake of Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds. IMDB has it slated for a 2009 release and Michael Bay is attached to produce.

This news shatters my dreams of producing a remake of The Birds for Television. Starring Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie and Keanu Reeves. The unintentional intertextuality would bring out much of the camp missing from the original. Also the stiff and lackadaisically competing acting styles will add a high school play level of professionalism.

I expected DVD sales and midnight showings to go through the roof.

Good luck achieving those numbers Michael Bay.